THE OSCARS OF GIVING

These people have taken a lot of time and effort into giving themselves up for love. Like any artist, there is a lot of sacrifice coming from each of these heroes. But I'm definitely proud that the Hero of the Year is a Filipino.
2009 has a been a big year for the Philippines, and I think it's starting to receive the kind of attention it truly deserves.
I admit I have my doubts and reservations about my own kind. The things I hear from my mother, a first generation Filipino, has educated me on many stories of theft, robbery, and lies--some stories that originate within my own family lineage. It's heart breaking to know, and embarrassing to be in any correlation to, but it is the truth of the homeland: corruption is everywhere, especially in the human heart. And it is good to know that there are some people who are trying to manipulate goodness despite the greed, negativity, and crime--someone still has inspiration.

Mr. Penaflorida,
you are a pioneering artist. the kind that needs to be spoken of in textbooks, and taught in classrooms. I am certain that your heroism is an art that provokes emotions from any audience.
and though I have never personally met you, your over generosity is very addictive behavior. Thank you for being a role model across all color lines, and thank you for not being fearful of giving yourself to good deeds.

Thankful,
RAE

Fallen

Toby Burrows has a lot of talent. And his exhibition of Fallen really captured me. I almost feel like he tapped into my craziest nightmares with this one:
not much more I could say. But it's beautiful and horrific in so many different ways.


-RAE

The Break Up - Date

I can't really define what exactly is going on right now.
We fight, we love, we learn...

At this point Aldrin is a very significant part of my life. I can't shake him lose. I want him, bad. And although we are definitely separated, we find ourselves coming back to each other.
Rationally (if love ever is rational), it would be best that we are apart. We are sick of the drama--mini bickering and what not over little shit. I want him to step up and go, he wants me to chill and flow. We're on different poles and we're also finding it very hard to meet in the middle--emotionally & physically.

I love it and hate it altogether.
It's crazy.


Anyway, this song is totally demented and weird. But I love it. It's kinda catchy and just strange in other ways that would usually deter me from even enjoying such a sound. But I guess it does help simplify my situation into a better understanding (visually & audibly), cause I don't think my blogging is doing any justice of what I feel.

LADY GAGA - BAD ROMANCE:





J'veux ton amour,
RAE

Ugh...

I can't sleep.

I'm buggin.

And it helps to talk to someone. BUT i've got no one!!! ugh...


fml,
RAE

Still Shocked

I come back from vegas, and now I'm single.
A definite WTF moment...

Vegas was almost uneventful. I mean seriously, I didn't watch the Pacquiao fight, I didn't really get to enjoy myself at the club, I didn't get to hang out with dre (my GOOD LONG TIME FRIEND) for more than 3 minutes, I didn't place AT ALL during the competition...
ALL EVENTS PLANNED DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN!

And the one event that was pretty dramatic: the break up.

God, help me get through this phase. How do I find the right answers? I wish he'd find the energy to care for me. I wish things were different. But this is reality... it doesn't change--even on vacations--apparently.

I want to be in control, and I find myself falling out. I'm a mess right now. I refuse to believe he does not think of me. And if I'm right, I hope he shows me--I hope he comes through...

Something tells me this is it. Fuck.

returning for the night,
RAE.