THE OSCARS OF GIVING

These people have taken a lot of time and effort into giving themselves up for love. Like any artist, there is a lot of sacrifice coming from each of these heroes. But I'm definitely proud that the Hero of the Year is a Filipino.
2009 has a been a big year for the Philippines, and I think it's starting to receive the kind of attention it truly deserves.
I admit I have my doubts and reservations about my own kind. The things I hear from my mother, a first generation Filipino, has educated me on many stories of theft, robbery, and lies--some stories that originate within my own family lineage. It's heart breaking to know, and embarrassing to be in any correlation to, but it is the truth of the homeland: corruption is everywhere, especially in the human heart. And it is good to know that there are some people who are trying to manipulate goodness despite the greed, negativity, and crime--someone still has inspiration.

Mr. Penaflorida,
you are a pioneering artist. the kind that needs to be spoken of in textbooks, and taught in classrooms. I am certain that your heroism is an art that provokes emotions from any audience.
and though I have never personally met you, your over generosity is very addictive behavior. Thank you for being a role model across all color lines, and thank you for not being fearful of giving yourself to good deeds.

Thankful,
RAE

Fallen

Toby Burrows has a lot of talent. And his exhibition of Fallen really captured me. I almost feel like he tapped into my craziest nightmares with this one:
not much more I could say. But it's beautiful and horrific in so many different ways.


-RAE

The Break Up - Date

I can't really define what exactly is going on right now.
We fight, we love, we learn...

At this point Aldrin is a very significant part of my life. I can't shake him lose. I want him, bad. And although we are definitely separated, we find ourselves coming back to each other.
Rationally (if love ever is rational), it would be best that we are apart. We are sick of the drama--mini bickering and what not over little shit. I want him to step up and go, he wants me to chill and flow. We're on different poles and we're also finding it very hard to meet in the middle--emotionally & physically.

I love it and hate it altogether.
It's crazy.


Anyway, this song is totally demented and weird. But I love it. It's kinda catchy and just strange in other ways that would usually deter me from even enjoying such a sound. But I guess it does help simplify my situation into a better understanding (visually & audibly), cause I don't think my blogging is doing any justice of what I feel.

LADY GAGA - BAD ROMANCE:





J'veux ton amour,
RAE

Ugh...

I can't sleep.

I'm buggin.

And it helps to talk to someone. BUT i've got no one!!! ugh...


fml,
RAE

Still Shocked

I come back from vegas, and now I'm single.
A definite WTF moment...

Vegas was almost uneventful. I mean seriously, I didn't watch the Pacquiao fight, I didn't really get to enjoy myself at the club, I didn't get to hang out with dre (my GOOD LONG TIME FRIEND) for more than 3 minutes, I didn't place AT ALL during the competition...
ALL EVENTS PLANNED DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN!

And the one event that was pretty dramatic: the break up.

God, help me get through this phase. How do I find the right answers? I wish he'd find the energy to care for me. I wish things were different. But this is reality... it doesn't change--even on vacations--apparently.

I want to be in control, and I find myself falling out. I'm a mess right now. I refuse to believe he does not think of me. And if I'm right, I hope he shows me--I hope he comes through...

Something tells me this is it. Fuck.

returning for the night,
RAE.

The Break Up - Day 1

I have gone over and over what had happened.
I’m still in shock that it has come to this.
How do we reverse the chemistry?
Is this how it’s supposed to be?

I cried, got angry, frustrated, everything… I felt every emotion that whole drive back. It was the worse drive ever. I usually feel good after a drive, not this one. It gave me more time to think about what was going on, more time to dwell and feel hurt. I just want the pain to go away… but unfortunately, it had to come one way or another.
Should I endure what is already hurting?
Or try and break the cycle, by ending it all?
Will any of this pain go away?
I had a totally different game plan for this weekend. Nothing like this… it must’ve happened for a reason. I will admit that I’m curious what would’ve been if I spoke up. If I really said what was on my mind. I had a lot of fear—I hope you understand—I felt completely at fault and stifled. It’s difficult to assume, but I almost felt like I had to.

I just hope that one day, you realize what I meant.
That you can honestly say that you’re ready, and hopefully you think about me




the newest single lady,
RAE

What's A Life Without Pressure.

I'd Like to see it.
Who wants to join me?

RAE.

Great For Stoner Pics

I've never been stoned. I guess I want to see what it's like, without going in that totally illegal route. The holga offers awesome vintage like photos, that have that stoner feel--as some reviews have said.

Modcloth.com sells juan.
and I want juan...


Hopefully this christmas santa will prove his fuckin worth.

(()) (())
( >'.'< )
( (__) )
("')_("')
look i made a bunny

....
RAE!

Because My Boyfriend Is Crazy

We flirt funny, but I still like it.
In Love,
RAE!

Good Times

A bunch of random stuff that happened this year. And I was able to gather photos. Enjoy these memorable stories via photographs! YAY!

Camera Less

I haven't really been posting. Although things have been happening, I honestly don't feel compelled to write/post anything because I don't have anymore pictures to go with my postings. I guess I'm the type of person who enjoys visual aids. haha... that's lame, and geeky, but so damn true.

Anyway, if you want to know, this is how my camera broke: I went kayaking one day with Aldrin. I got water on it, even though it was packed nicely into two ziplocks--NOT ONE... it was just frustrating taking pictures with the baggie on, and decided to snap a few shots without the baggies. I guess water got into it somehow, or the heat from it being inside the ziplocks caused it to act funky. Basically, it just went to shit after having it for about a year and half. I have the worse luck with cameras, despite having some talent in taking photos.

Fortunately, I do have pictures, and I believe my memory card is still in good condition. Unfortunately, I can't load them up via my laptop. My laptop doesn't have a Pro Duo port. fml....fml..........fml.


Since we're on the topic of events happening, I'm going to vegas soon.
And that should be fun, but crappy at the same time because I don't have a camera!!!

I'm done venting.
RAE!