To Be Open

Try to think about this and absorb the idea, k? I hope you can feel me out a little bit more on this one.

K. Thanks!
RAE!

The Break Up - Date

I can't really define what exactly is going on right now.
We fight, we love, we learn...

At this point Aldrin is a very significant part of my life. I can't shake him lose. I want him, bad. And although we are definitely separated, we find ourselves coming back to each other.
Rationally (if love ever is rational), it would be best that we are apart. We are sick of the drama--mini bickering and what not over little shit. I want him to step up and go, he wants me to chill and flow. We're on different poles and we're also finding it very hard to meet in the middle--emotionally & physically.

I love it and hate it altogether.
It's crazy.


Anyway, this song is totally demented and weird. But I love it. It's kinda catchy and just strange in other ways that would usually deter me from even enjoying such a sound. But I guess it does help simplify my situation into a better understanding (visually & audibly), cause I don't think my blogging is doing any justice of what I feel.

LADY GAGA - BAD ROMANCE:





J'veux ton amour,
RAE

The Break Up - Day 1

I have gone over and over what had happened.
I’m still in shock that it has come to this.
How do we reverse the chemistry?
Is this how it’s supposed to be?

I cried, got angry, frustrated, everything… I felt every emotion that whole drive back. It was the worse drive ever. I usually feel good after a drive, not this one. It gave me more time to think about what was going on, more time to dwell and feel hurt. I just want the pain to go away… but unfortunately, it had to come one way or another.
Should I endure what is already hurting?
Or try and break the cycle, by ending it all?
Will any of this pain go away?
I had a totally different game plan for this weekend. Nothing like this… it must’ve happened for a reason. I will admit that I’m curious what would’ve been if I spoke up. If I really said what was on my mind. I had a lot of fear—I hope you understand—I felt completely at fault and stifled. It’s difficult to assume, but I almost felt like I had to.

I just hope that one day, you realize what I meant.
That you can honestly say that you’re ready, and hopefully you think about me




the newest single lady,
RAE

Because My Boyfriend Is Crazy

We flirt funny, but I still like it.
In Love,
RAE!

Good Times

A bunch of random stuff that happened this year. And I was able to gather photos. Enjoy these memorable stories via photographs! YAY!

Compromise With Me, Love.

"Above all, don't fear difficult moments. The best comes from them."
Rita Levi-Montalcini.

Inked Up

The boyfriend and I decided we were really bored on saturday night. So I felt like drawing him a tat. Then he did the same for me. His is on his deltoid/bicep area, mine on my rib cage. There's more to them than what you see, and their locations. But I'm not sure that I'm willing to give the details and story behind each of our tattoos. I feel that it makes it more unique, and special to us. =]

Maybe I will get the tattoo one day...

Exactly One Year Ago Today

Aldrin asked me out. We're a crazy mix, but we absolutely do well together. Thanks for an awesome 365 days with me. You're pretty swanky for putting up with my crap, and loving me with persistence and genuity.
Mi hoe, you are thee best.





But we celebrated our anniversary this past weekend. I made Aldreezy this photoalbum & CD. The album was to act as a multi-purpose booklet as it served these purposes:

1. Frame some of our best moments captured through photos
2. Highlight stories and memories I vividly remembered while I still had them in my mind
3. List the music to our CD & each song's importance
4. Case the CD as an actual CD is
5. Lastly, be a book that was continuous in itself, without totally being a circle. Our continuum is nothing of the ordinary.

And then, Aldrin took me to this really different bar called, SGT Dueling Piano Cafe. It was crazy, the whitest people were jammin out on pianos, playing the best songs ever. Everyone was super drunk, really into singing along, and the fun just never seemed to end. Although it was a lot of fun, it was pretty rowdy. For a date, I figured I would be simply romanced. (I still haven't gotten my birthday wish...TO BE ROMANTIC ON A DATE & BE ASKED OUT!!! BUT I guess those dreams will have to wait.) As for pictures, well I took plenty, but I can't seem to find them on my computer. And for video, they came out pretty crappy when uploaded to youtube. So whatever; those will have to be updated later. On Sunday and Monday, we spent a lot of time being lazy and cute. Flirting yet fighting over the xbox controller and TV controller. But we stopped with the laziness and just drove on PCH, wandering through Palos Verdes. Cruisin is ALWAYS fun...

Well I Think This Is Cute...

A fine example of the weird and sarcastic relationship I have with my boyfriend. Our one year anniversary is apporaching, as well as our 2 years of knowing each other. (yeah, I know the exact day we met. and it's crazy that a year and 3 days later we became official. But that's another story...) This is probably the most exciting upcoming event in my life right now. Sad, yes. But shit, I'm savoring this baby up. It's difficult to find happiness with everything terribly slow and filled with all kinds of bad news.

Electricity is in the air!! Yeaaaah... Okay, I got that from "Kicking & Screaming." that korean kid is too cute.
So yeah, Easter is around the corner. I've got some real eggs to fry... I'm curious if my present to my bf is better than what he's doing for me.......hmmmm....

the LBC Will Have To Share This Summer

Hello New York, How Ya Doin?

-Ms. Rae

After a LONG Weekend

Thanks Mi Hoe for spending this weekend with me. We definately went through a lot. I'm just glad you were there through it all. Out of all honesty, turning 22 seemed intimidating, but I got through it. Not with fun and enjoyment, but not exactly kicking and screaming. Hah, words can't express the entirety of emotions I have running throughout my body.

Just thanks, for having my back, boo.
You Are The Best.

As for the rest of you that have taken the time to greet me and/or hang out with me: THANKS!!!

I think I'll postpone all the fun I really intended to have for later, this summer. Everyone is having a tough time; finding a job is becoming extremely harsh, and the concept of work is feeling more like slavery.

I hope 09's summer will be a good time to thrive off of life with less stress.

And so as of now (the spring), I'm just going to haul ass and DO WORK!

Love... will unfortunately have to wait... till summer.

Freshly Out Of the Shower

And I totally figured out what I want for my birthday!

I want to be asked out on a date. Like have it all legit, and dude plans everything out. I don't think I've ever been formally asked out on a date. Guys these days are so nonchalant about the idea of being with a girl, that everything is just hanging out. I think every girl romanticizes over the idea of being taken to out at night with everything planned out of love and desire.

I know, I know. I'm low key cheesey.
But I'm definately willing to let a guy sweep me off my feet.
That's IF he's seriously smooth with his game.
So don't get all super duper goofy and cheesy. haha.

So wherever you are Mr. Man, come ask me on a date.
Pick me up with flowers,
play footsy with me at dinner,
but really make me feel like I really deserve that kind of night.

xoxo,

p.s. But I still wouldn't mind if you got me something off the list. It is my birthday in 2 days afterall; you can spoil me if you really feel like it. lol

Guys...

"... hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway."

HAH! is that true??? :)

Spin Off Wayne's "Real Shit"

it's the type of song you dedicate to someone.
But I only wanna dedicate the phrase: you the fuckin best.
because, you are.



Plus it's not as good as "real shit" hahaha...

-Ms. Rae